Grandma.

She has left us to be with him. It hasn’t yet been six months since Grandpa died, and now Grandma is gone from this world too. She passed away Sunday, on Fathers Day. God please Bless her. God Bless Bob and Stephanie. God Bless Jim.

I used to tell my friends that I had three Grandmothers. I was the luckiest girl in the world just for that, more blessed than I ever knew.

Her name was Florence. She lived in Michigan her whole life, had two sons, and worked for General Motors until she retired. She was 92.

I wish I had known her more, that we could have had more time together. It’s the curse of the modern world really, distance I mean, the many miles that separate families. It’s been one of my life’s greatest heartbreaks.

Tony is away on a business trip and I have stayed up the past couple of nights thinking of Grandma and sorting all of my old cards and letters. I have never talked to anyone about the cards and letters I save, except my Dad, who is also a die hard collector of pieces of mail, he tells me about cards and letters I sent him when I was a little girl. He can put his hands on them in just a few minutes. I have never had a system, just a big old box where everything goes.

So I’m now sifting through 25+ years of [almost] every card or letter I have ever received. Yes Renee, Mom, Alicia, Jimmy, Sabrina, Sheri [Bear], Daddy, Aunt Teri, Aunt Deb, Pookie [just kidding, you already changed your name to Jerry by the time you started sending me letters] nearly every piece of correspondence you have ever put a stamp with my name on it is right on my dresser in it’s very own nice fairly neat pile right there along with all my letters and cards from Meme, Granny, and Grandma. Admittedly, I have become ruthless with paper the last few years. Most things now go into the recycling bin. Still, not all can be tossed out.

My assortment of collected correspondence basically falls into two categories. 1) ones that just have a quick: “Love, Someone who cared enough to send a card” and 2) those that have either a separate letter on note paper or a letter written inside the card itself. From Grandma, the pile is right up there with the biggest, and almost every time, hers were type 2. As I open each one, I whisper to myself, "talk to me Grandma." Some make me cry like a baby tear up, some make me laugh.


Grandma and Grandpa would always send a small gift for Christmas; she occasionally sent a Valentine and never forgot a birthday or special occasion. Two gifts stand out in my memory. The pink SWATCH watch that smelled like strawberries for my High School graduation, and the Bible she gave me for Emily in 1998 when she was born. I kept that watch for so many years, long after it stopped keeping time and stopped smelling like strawberries.

My Mother taught me well to write thank you cards, growing the correspondences year by year. Grandma would always tell me what was going on with Denise and Stephanie and how hard they worked, who was visiting, who was helping with her yard. She wrote of vacation dreams, leaves, birds, snow, and Grandpa’s golf game. If Jim had recently visited, she would mention how nice it was to have him there. She gave me encouragement and praise through college.

She never dated one single letter to me, though sometimes she would write the day of the week. Thank goodness for cancelled postage.

In 1997, she wrote this postscript, “I think of the good times we had with you when you were younger.”

Although the time we spent together was brief and I was little, there were elements of unforgettable woven through. My earliest memories of her are of watching her crochet. I remember the first time I ever saw a crochet hook was with her. She really intrigued me. She must have been in her late 50’s and as I watched her fingers work, I remember her telling me about this thing I had never heard of called arthritis; she flexed and bent her fingers to show it to me. She was my first crocheting mentor; I think she also taught me how to knit a little too. There were countless UNO games with her. She was so funny; she loved to play cards. I remember thinking how exciting it was because she made me feel like I was playing a grown up game! She liked jokes, I will never forget the one she told about the man and the parking space that didn’t belong to him, it involves clapping hands and I can still hear her clapping her hands and trying so hard not to laugh!


Some more things she wrote to me:

1983 -“Ben’s jacket came today. Tell Jim it fits real nice, we also got the cards.”

1985 -“Grandma is a very poor writer, but I write anyway.”

1985 -“So glad you are crocheting. The more things you learn to do, the more interesting life you will have.” I must have written her that Meme was showing me how to crochet.

1988 – “It seems like the sun is shining more since you wished us sunny skies. I get up early most of the time. We have been feeding the birds. I sit and have my coffee and watch them feed. Our house is more comfortable than our old house...I have made some of my curtains. I still have the bathroom and kitchen to do…"

1995 – "Renee will be the best little mother…I hope Jimmy does not fail in his job…Ben is getting so he can help me a little. Bob helps me a lot.”

I wish I had more memories, like I said, I wish I knew her more. We only lived in her town for about a year when I was in first grade, and then we had a sprinkling of visits from Grandma and Grandpa. It just wasn’t enough; it never is with so much distance. That goes ditto to almost everyone reading this right now.

My three Grandmothers are in Heaven. If you still have yours, kiss them, hug them, love them, and write down your memories. I had three of the best ones anybody ever had; I really thank God for giving me the time I had with them. Grandma’s passing, though I have not shared her presence for so many years, makes me feel so lonely, and makes the whole world seem like a much lonelier place to me.

Nine or ten years ago [I didn’t keep all the envelopes, I had to guess at some of the dates with clues like “your little baby girl is lovely”] she wrote: “Paw Paw went and hit golf balls today. He loses his balance and so do I. We walk together and get along better.”

Tonight they are walking together and getting along better. They were married for 75 years, it has to be, I just know it.