December 31, 2013.

Happy New Year! Someone please tell me where does the time go?

It's the last day of the year and  I am sitting in my kitchen with the light of my life, Eva Liliana and she wants you to know that she had the best time ice skating on Christmas day. We have the extreme good fortune of having an ice skating rink this year less than a mile from our house!

I didn't get Christmas cards out this year. We rushed an attempt for a family photo on the 15th but I was uninspired and didn't get further than the photo taking part. This one is my favorite. I push the button, I race to be in the photo, we smile. Wyatt suddenly had the urge to straighten my collar and my face is a mess because I think that his motions will spoil the great photo. Ironically, everyone else looks perfect and I am the sad, crazy mom in the middle. Wyatt does look slightly chastened however, and I am sorry for that.

Here is the one that I should have used. Merry Christmas!

And since I am months behind, Happy Thanksgiving! We went to Renee's again this year and it was a lot of fun. Mom and Jim love their football pools and Tony and I both won a quarter! I am deeply thankful for my family and so grateful for the times we spend together. Renee and I took the kids for a very long walk after dinner and we had to be rescued by Chris in his pickup truck because it got cold and dark, Emily and Allie rode in the bed of the truck on the way home. We are such law breakers. Funny how that was such a normal thing to do when I was a kid.

I am sad to see 2013 go. I always get emotional on this day. I am more sad for the year to end than happy to receive a new one. 2013 gave us many good things along with some very hard and challenging and sad things. I hope I can be strong for whatever 2014 brings. And joyful too.

September 2013.

Fall!  I love you! 

September!  You are not my favorite.

October please hurry!

The ninth month is just too hyper, it wants to be everything and hold everything.  It's greedy that way.  But...it did give me two of the four loveliest gifts of my life so I have to forgive it a little for being so pushy.

I peaked about a month ago with my trying to run but mostly walking fast.  I got sick at the beginning of the month.  Oh, thank you September I needed that in no way!  That little setback slowed me down tremendously.  Since then I am better but have lost a bit of my motivation.  I am super worried too because I know me and cold weather.  I like the cold weather if I can mostly be indoors with it, experience it in short intervals. Definitely not any interval long enough to give me a cold ear headache.  I'm a wimp, one who should look into wearing ear wraps I guess.    I'm feeling really good though overall. The exercise, and diet modifications I have been faithful to since January, are paying off.

Eva is playing soccer for the first time, her first sport actually. Wyatt is playing baseball and soccer.  Emily and Sarah are both playing volleyball for their schools.  The most joy I can find is when I seat myself at one of their games.  They are getting into the swing of things with school now, though they still grieve for summer every Monday morning.

September isn't really so bad. We're heading into a more manageable time.  I need more manageable because my babies aren't babies anymore, and I'll admit that sometimes do, but I really don't want to wish it away or dream it's over.

I had problems with my camera on the first day of school and ended up with lots of blurry photos, only two or three that I could keep.  I was in manual mode and thought I was in auto focus but couldn't tell at the time because I didn't have my glasses on!  Oh well, first day of school photos are overrated right?  I had to tell myself that, and to stay out of auto focus mode personally speaking, so I don't continue to take so much of this life for granted. 

I think October is going to help me be better at that.

Progress for me.

I am up to 3.4 miles, three times a week.  Really!

I'm slow but I'm getting it done and it feels good.  I decided to go out on the street with this, I go early, about 6 a.m. and there is very little traffic which is key for me.  I wear basically the same clothes over and over so I don't really have to think about my wardrobe and when I pass another person I just read their lips, smile and wave.  Kicking my silly roadblocks and  fears in the ass I am!  (Don't ever forget that I told you I was a dork from the start, this is not new so don't act like you didn't know).

I officially started June 1st, so I am about six weeks into it.  I downloaded an app called Zombies, Run!  and it's the best $1.99 I have ever spent.  It's a story and as it goes along you have instructions on how long to walk, when to run, and when to do other drills.  The whole time my own music is playing and when the narrator or another character comes in to talk (in all kinds of fun and different English dialects), my music volume is turned down automatically.  It's fun, it's motivating me, and it keeps all my stats so I can look up my progress on the computer when I'm done. I sometimes repeat missions when I am not ready to move on or when I feel particularly sluggish, so I am still on week four but I like that, I need more time.  I'm not sure what I am working towards but it just feels right for now. Here is what the computer sync tells me.

July2013

• 5 runs
• 16.06     mi distance
• 1485      calories
• 4:07:11  time

July's Logs

Date		Mission	Dist	Time	Pace	Calories
Today	6:33 AM	S1-B11: Week 4, Workout 2	3.39 mi	49:40	14:39 min/mi	331
Wed 10th	6:03 AM	S1-B10: Week 4, Workout 1	3.01 mi	55:56	18:36 min/mi	240
Mon 8th	6:26 AM	S1-B9: Week 3, Workout 3	3.27 mi	46:12	14:09 min/mi	322
Sat 6th	7:19 AM	S1-B8: Week 3, Workout 2	3.26 mi	47:30	14:34 min/mi	323
Tue 2nd	5:55 AM	S1-B8: Week 3, Workout 2	3.14 mi	47:53	15:15 min/mi	269

I didn't think I would go for a  zombie themed app but after watching the first two seasons of The Walking Dead on Netflix, I was totally up for it and so glad I gave it a shot!  Goes to show you, you never know where inspiration is going to come from.

I spend a good amount of time tweaking my zombie playlist, here's my current one.

Don’t You Worry Child – Swedish House Mafia
Daylight – Maroon 5
I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ – Scissor Sisters
Brick House – The Commodores
Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas
Jerk It – Thunderheist
Jump – Kris Kross
DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love - Usher
Heads Will Roll – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Girl On Fire – Alicia Keyes
Closing Time - Semisonic
Everybody Knows – John Legend

By the way, I am now six months without eating meat and I'm feeling fine. So there is my update!  I did it!  I'm moving now and I'm not stopping!

Boys of summer.

My boy Wyatt is playing in a summer wood bat league and my nephew Josue just finished up his season on the city All Star team.  Josue is six weeks younger than Emily, so I have pretty much watched him grow since day one.  He and Emily have always been close.  We have two high schools in town and they don't go to school together but I really wish they did. Now that they are deep in the midst of teendom, they awkwardly avoid each other in all but the most intimate family gatherings, but I know that will pass and they will always have a special connection.   I didn't get to grow up with my Josue,  Emily is luckier than she knows.

This kid is a rockstar in our world of baseball and also in school.  He has amazing parents and he is just an all around awesome kid. 

I am so proud of Wyatt, he works really hard and he plays really hard!  Just look how serious he is. 

It doesn't get much better than getting out there and watching your kid or your nephew play this game. I love it!

MAY 2013 - EMILY

I was excited for Emily to get her 10 year pin for Girl Scouts and was surprised when my name was called  and I received one too!  Emily started in kindergarten and is now completing 9th grade so that makes ten for her.  My combined girl/adult years qualified me for mine.    The years are sliding by so quickly.  Seems like yesterday that I was carrying two babies around and holding troop meetings for Emily and her first grade troop mates.  By her third grade year, I was toting baby Eva around too and I couldn't manage it all so Emily moved into the troop she belongs to today.  Her troop leader is the most amazing person that if I told you all the things she does and has accomplished, you wouldn't believe me.  That she also happens to be one of the most kind and sincere people I have known makes me want to cry when I think of her.  I will always love Julie D.

Ems is finished her freshman year with a trip to regionals in track. Along with her varsity 4x4 team she made two trips to Elk  Grove this month in post season.  That is the weird thing about high school, the kids get to miss whole entire days of school to go participate in their sport.  I guess if I had ever played a sport I would know this but it is a surprise to me. The first time I ever teared up for one of my kids in an award ceremony the was just the other day. She was one of only 12 out of 70 kids on the track team to receive an academic athlete award for her grades and that put me over the edge. She really works hard this girl.  I fuss at her so much.  She deserves all of it, don't misunderstand.  She can be a major PAIN.  But she is also amazing and she surprises me at every twist. Not just with her athletic talents but sometimes with spontaneous acts of kindness, sometimes just with the ways I see her "getting it" and by it I mean life lessons and big things like that.  It's weird to watch someone grow from their very first breath of life.  You don't actually watch it so much as marvel as the big chunks that have passed and marvel some more, at pretty well spaced intervals, with the newness of that person as she changes.  I can almost not believe that I once had this little teeny (big actually, nine point four whole pounds of her) baby and now she is this bigger than me almost fifteen year old person that is sometimes a pain, often lovely, and always awesome.  No better pain to love than this though.  I'm keeping her.

The ten days thing.

I was hoping if I could to commit to 10 days of  walking/running, it would be the beginning of a new great exercise habit.  I was successful!  It felt good to run!  I exercised for all of the ten days.  OK, two of them were dancing but I counted it because I was exerting myself physically and I actually logged my workout on the map my fitness app that I was using...it's legit.

The problem was that after the ten days I didn't continue with anything.  I rewarded my achievement by making it count for NOTHING!

I also can't figure out what the best time for me is.  Morning or evening?  The last time I had formed a good exercise routine it was mornings, and it worked then.  I did evenings for the 10 days and I liked that.  It was kind of a guilty pleasure to get out of the house and away from the chores and the noise for a little bit each night, even if I was only going around the block a few times.

So starting all over again.  I want to do something where I feel results.  I don't need to lose weight, but that doesn't mean that I feel good, or look good.  

I gave up meat after watching half dozen food documentaries on Netflix around the first of this year.  It really seemed like the right thing to do and I am sticking to it.  I don't own a scale but  I think I have actually gained a few pounds without eating meat. There's probably some scientific reason for that that I am not aware of.  Maybe being meatless made my metabolism change?    Since the second week of January I have only had meat twice.  One was the sample of orange chicken at the Tracy mall a few weeks ago that I took without thinking.  As soon as I realized it, I told my kids  "I just ate meat!" and then spit it right into my hand.  One other time there were these good looking turkey wraps at work and and I went ahead and ate one in spite of myself.  Nothing bad happened. I almost thought at that point that it might make me sick but it didn't.   I had high hopes that my not eating meat would make me feel better but I don't feel much different and I know that I'm still not eating enough vegetables.  Fewer headaches maybe, but that could be anything.

It's going to be the exercise that makes the difference for me.  I need to make a good habit that will last. 

Here is a partial list of what hinders me in random order because they hinder equally:

1. Cold, I just don't like to be in it when there is an alternative cozy place like my house.
2. People, as in I don't like to go where there are people.
3. Cars, I don't like cars passing me.
4. Clothes, I don't like deciding what to put on and I always feel like a dork.

So that narrows things down considerably.  It's now crystal clear that I need a home gym.  Or I could keep dancing in my bathroom.  Or both.  Wait!  We are full up at my house and I'd have no place to put my home gym.  There's no place to put one piece of gym!

Let me think about this some more.  For now I think I will get up early tomorrow before the sun, and the cars, and most of the people.

Modesto Marathon 2013.

Tony ran his third half-marathon in a year! He is one consistent man. His chip time was 01:47:51. Just a few seconds off from his previous two halfs. He placed 12th in his age group and is in great company since his best friend Victor came in 7th! Go Tony and Victor!



Hey Tony, Victor's socks are way cooler than yours!

I'm going to just do it.

And saying it here where two other people will know is surely going to help me.

A friend invited me to walk with her yesterday and I told her that maybe this would be the day that I start exercising on a regular schedule like I know I should so I am going to walk a lot and run a little tiny bit in the next ten days and see how it goes, starting yesterday. I also might bake a cake right now and eat part of it.

Fishin'

Tony has been trying to be a fisherman for about five or six years. He goes out a few times a year and gives it a go. He has a friend that is very experienced that got him hooked (hee hee) and he definitely has the desire, if not loads of time to spend. Maybe someday it will be a regular thing for him, I think he would like that. Recently, when Emily and I were on a volleyball weekend he took his youngest three out for a day of fishing. It was kind of a practice day with a few new poles. Eva looks like she was having a good time in these photos Tony took with his phone.

This is McConnell State Park and it was a lucky day for the fish (if any actually exist), not so much for Tony or my kiddos coming home empty handed. But I know the humans sure had fun trying.

I love that my husband is a wanna be fisherman.  I love that he takes my kids fishing. Love.

Some of my best memories as a kid are fishing with my dad. Well no, not some of my best, just my best. There is nothing that compares to the way I remember being with him on the Caney Fork River with my sister Renee. We caught fish for days, no kidding, days. And we loved every single minute of it. I wish I had some pictures to share of the time we covered Meme's patio with all the fish we caught. The sounds, the smells, the sun and the swimming, all those Dr. Peppers! Hearing my dad say "trash! pole down!" when we were trolling. All the times that he had to get our lines uncrossed, looking for snakes in the trees when we got too close to the shore. All the times that we explored caves on the river, and all those stories he had to tell. Man I'm sick for my dad, my sister, and Tennessee right now.

That's my baby, she's fishin'

She and Me.

It's volleyball season again. Our first tournament was in the bay area and we played afternoons so we had some time to spend at the beach our second day. We went to mass in Half Moon Bay where the priest actually shushed babies during mass! So very very weird. He is this tall bearded Eastern European looking man who has minus zero tolerance for the noises of babes. That brand of oddness stays with you, weird.

It happened to be the most divine beach day ever. The sky was crystal clear. The air was dry and warm. The waves were ferociously beautiful. We ended up finding a beach access south of town. We walked along a path on the bluffs for quite a while, met some interesting ladies who shared their binoculars so we could try to see the Mavericks competition. Try being the key word, we saw nothing but beautiful ocean and a line of boats who had the first class view. We tried to drive closer but the stopped traffic on the one way Highway 1 gave us the clear signal to turn ourselves around.

I took a lot of photos of her, she took a couple of me. It was a good day. I ended up with a KILLER headache later and after all the volleyball we didn't get home until almost the next day, but I'm so glad we adventured that morning. It was sweet.

I Don't Want This Day to End.

I'm in love with this day. I said it at 11 a.m to Sarah, that I wish we could stop time until we wanted to start it again, and just be here in this moment. Today seems entirely enchanted for some reason.

It could be that today is the last day of Christmas to me. After all, this is our last school vacation day and our last day of holiday life. Things go back to regular life after today. It's also the day the Magi visited baby Jesus and we return to ordinary time in the church. Epiphany. Sounds pretty magical to me.

Epiphany is also defined as an experience of sudden and striking realization. That does describe the way I feel today, but in a gentle way. Things seem truly clear today.

Or it could be the high that I am feeling from a super fun night spent with friends. One of those nights where things just all work out with good food, lots of laughs and everyone stays late. Let's make more plans.

Or maybe it's because this was one of those rainy mornings that turn into a fresh and savory afternoon with pretty skies and soft warm magical light setting ordinary things both inside and outside my house conspicuously more beautiful. Making a fire in the fireplace and cuddling up is on my to do list.  One of my favorite moments this holiday was the stormy day Emily and I were home alone and the power went off.  She was working on a project on her computer and kept going on battery while I wrapped presents.  We made a fire and lit candles all through the house. That was also a magical afternoon.



Whatever it is I really don't want it to end. I'm not ready for real life yet. I need more time to savor this.

I'm not taking down that tree yet, I think I will give it a few more days.